Play Music, I will always Love You - Dolly Parton

If I should stay, I would only be in your way: so I’ll go, but I know, I’ll think of you every step of the way. And I , will always love you. Will always love you. You, my darling you. Bittersweet memories, that is all I’m taking with me. So good-bye, please don’t cry, we both know I’m not what you need. I will always love you. I will always love you. I hope life treats you kind, and I hope you have all you dreamed of. I’m wishing you joy and happiness, but above all this, I wish you love. And I will always love you, I will always love you, I will always love you.

When the death of a loved one is their choice, many bittersweet memories remain for those that survive. We do our best to look for the answers to all the Why’s and the What If’s. We don’t find those answers, we can’t change the what if’s. The choice was not ours, it was taken from us.

Now, we look into our reflection and learn to say the good-bye and look for the peace that we were to be given in the death of a loved one that thought it was for our best. But, as the sharing of our pain Helps us Heal, we can look in the reflection and say I will always love you TOO.

The water is good, the stone is good, but when you throw a stone into the calm water, it ripples. The ripples may be pleasant to see, but often they disturb the water and the life under the water.

After the death of my husband (13yrs ago) I found writing my feelings on paper was more than just an outlet. It helped me become aware of the anger, pain and loneliness happening within me. I wrote this about 6 months after his death (suicide).

There is no future,
Only existence in the
Life I see today.

I wake with hope of tomorrow,
by evening my hope has faded Into loneliness.

a future is only a lingering thought, Which comes and slowly vanishes. To dwell of my future happiness Is like my foolish childhood wishes.

To give this much thought to the future, happiness or peace of mind, Only darkens my today.
***********

You could say I saw no hope, no future, no peace of mind I was lost. It was later, looking back at these same lines that told me something new, I saw hope and a "desire" to go on. The same words told me I had dwelled on "not" seeing a future long enough, it was time to start making a future for myself and my two sons. I could have continued brooding that tomorrow will be no better, but the fact is those tomorrow's were my future.

Let tomorrow be your future

Jaci

Suicide Hotlines and resources

Information that is helpful dealing with someone that is suicidal - This comes to us from Dr. Bob a retired psychologist.....

1. Do not try to talk a person who is suicidal out of committing the act. It will only make them angry. They might do it as an act of defiance.
2. Never ask them why they want to kill themselves. The will resent that and will try to get you into an argument.
3. Ask them how they plan to do it. Remind them how bad they will feel if they botch it; pain of gunshot -- drugs; cells trying to turn wrong side out --auto crash; broken bones etc.
4. Ask them what the results of their death will be and let them know they will never know how it came out. People will only think they are crazy and
do they want others to think that?
5. Teach them that one negative part of their personality is in charge and that the other positive parts are angry want to be free of it; the positive parts don't realize that if they do away with the negative part then they will die also.
6. Shift their focus from now to the future. Have them make an appointment with someone. Or have them commit to talking with you tomorrow.
7. Tell them you will not come to their place to help them. Just tell them you will call the proper authorities and they will come to help.
8. Above all, LISTEN! LISTEN! LISTEN! Don't interrupt except to get them to clarify their meaning. Use, "You are saying ___________," (to get them to clarify their meaning and to assume responsibility for their statements)?
9. Use 'double bind' statements; give them alternatives; both of which require a positive choice ex., "would you rather call me at 1:00 or 2:00 O'clock. The issue is not whether or not they will call but when! They have to make a positive choice.
10. No matter what you do or say, should they kill themselves, you are in no way responsible for their death. That was their choice!

Note from Mary Ellen ^I^.... I was reading the Materica Medica and the remedy aurum metalicum(gold) is for folks that talk of suicide all the time and can be ordered from Evergreen Nutrition in Euguene Oregon at 541-485-5100

SUICIDE ONLINE - Be warned, suicide online is NOT COMMON, what is common are those that threaten suicide to you in email or IM. Despondent people do not come online and tell you about how or when they are going to commit suicide. Those with true intention of committing suicide may come online, but they are usually quiet, listening and feeling unworthy of contributing. I have dealt with many NOT real suicides online, and only 3 that were real. The real ones were quite different than those that were people crying for help or pretending suicide to gain attention. The real ones were not stating that they were going to kill themselves, they asked questions that were more directed to finding purpose to continue living. I found that after the fact these people that were real, put down the method of their potential suicide when they found the simple answer that life may not be fair, but the alternative of their death was even more unfair and their voice was important in this life. In one instance I did call local police and have them go to the home of a potential suicide after the person insisted that I make arrangements to care for her pet. Do not dismiss someone's cry for help, but do not go into a frenzy that you will be able to prevent a true suicide, it is NOT your choice.