During times of
sorrow those special friends are what makes a difference in your
life. The difference between Empathy and Sympathy is what makes
the friends special. Those that have Sympathy for you say, I'm
sorry, but have not experienced the sorrow themselves. Those that
have Empathy, say I'm sorry, and know the pain you may feel at
the moment, because they too have had a loss.
Many times you will
lose friends during times of sorrow. They are most likely those
that only have sympathy. They fear loss themselves, and as my
own children have said, treat you as if you have Death Germs,
and they could "catch one". When you are widowed, those
that are married fear the loss of their own spouse, but somehow
think the widowed are immediately seeking a replacement for their
spouse. Those in sorrow have no intention of moving on to others,
they already have lost an important person, and can barely fathom
life without them.
To help a friend
in sorrow you must listen. Listen with non-judgmental thoughts
about the person they are talking about, and themselves. Listen
patiently to hear the words "I need" so you can help
them in their time of need. And listen a very long time, the time
in grief is not measured by days or months, it is measured in
years.
